At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
