Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.