Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.