dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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