Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
