im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
