Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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