I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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