I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
