Quick, to the slutcave!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
