I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Pooping to opera.
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