"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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