im gay
i know
yea but for you.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This is the high leading the old right now
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
