Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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