Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
