Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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