New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
