Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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