This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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