i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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