if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
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Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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