Porn is love you can see.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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