i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
