If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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