WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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