Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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