I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
