FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
