I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
