can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
