Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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