Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
