it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
