I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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