i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
