I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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