So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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