Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
