check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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