So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
