This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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