Dual....:-)
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
