ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
