If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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