"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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