you would pick up someone in the library
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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