I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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