i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
