Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
