God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
