I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
