you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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