she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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