this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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