he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
