we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
