but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
