i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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