We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
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I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
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We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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