I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
