2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
