Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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