i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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