And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
