it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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