so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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