I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
