I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Found your dick twin last night
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
