i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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