She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
