1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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