I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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