I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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