At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
