not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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