woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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