mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
