Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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